


Mad As Rabbits

by TheNextJoeTrohman



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bribery, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sex, Lack of Communication, M/M, Pets, Rabbits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 01:57:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8691985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNextJoeTrohman/pseuds/TheNextJoeTrohman
Summary: Dogs are cool. Andy knows that. But rabbits are way better.Joe doesn't quite agree, and from the looks Andy's getting from Louis, neither does he.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I've had this sat on my memory stick for like half a year now and just not posted it so
> 
> It's just lots of domestic fluff and cuteness. Can't say too much without spoiling it so have fun reading I guess, probably not my best but idk it's rabbits so...
> 
> Title from Mad As Rabbits - Panic! At The Disco

As much as Andy loves dogs, he must argue that he’s much more of a rabbit person.

It’s not like he doesn’t like Louis, it’s more that he’d love a small, friendly fluff ball to cuddle with at the end of a day, while Joe play fights with the Frenchie.

He hasn’t even asked Joe, but he’s determined to get a rabbit.

So much so, that he’s cleared out an entire room, had it carpeted so it’s rabbit-paw friendly, and decorated it. There’s a massive two-tier hutch set up, litter trays in every corner of the room, massive tunnels and wooden shelters perfect for his ideal pet. There’s even a cupboard against one wall, full to the brim with food and treats – he went to the local pet shop and brought super expensive ones that are meant to be really good for bunnies.

There’s now a custom-built run in the back garden, pegged down onto the grass. It’s wooden, and Andy built it with love and care, spending a lot of time making sure it’s just perfect. There’s tarpaulin attached to it by cable ties at one end, for shelter in the heat or rain, and even a ramp that leads to a small wooden platform. It’s made with old wooden furniture, and chicken wire, so it’s completely safe for small animals.

When Joe sees it, the immediate answer is “No.”

Andy pouts, “Why not?”

“We have Louis,” And to prove his point, the small dog looks up at Andy with large eyes, tail wagging and his tongue hanging out while he pants, “And besides, his ears kind of make him look like a rabbit anyway.”

Andy frowns, “It’s not the same!”

“Rabbits are boring,” Joe announces. He kicks his feet up onto the sofa without even bothering to remove his boots – which is one of Andy’s pet peeves – and doesn’t even look up at his boyfriend, instead staring down at his phone through his curly mane of hair. The dog soon jumps up and crawls over his denim-clad legs, nestling his head over Joe’s crotch and relaxing.

Andy shoves at Joe’s feet, displacing the dog as Joe’s body changes angle. The younger almost protests, but then he sees Andy’s face. It’s the one he wears when he’s deadly serious, but Joe can also tell he’s irritated. Joe’s being a dick, and he knows it.

In an effort to get back on Andy’s good side, he sits up straight and looks up into his grey eyes attentively, “Tell me how rabbits aren’t boring, babe.”

At the pet name, Andy supresses a grin, but seeing as Joe’s actually willing to give him the time of day, he sits down next to him and turns so that their knees are touching slightly, “They’re cute, and they all have different personalities, just like dogs do. Like, you can train them, they’re super clever – and they eat a vegan diet, which Louis definitely doesn’t, and they’re good company. They’re not too much work; they’re clean, and they don’t need to be walked twice a day –”

“Andy, I love you, and this is great, but no,” Joe interrupts, still staring him dead in the eyes. Andy’s face drops.

“But why not?!” Andy protests, upset.

“We have Louis!” The dog is now sat on Joe’s feet, washing himself.

“Joe, Louis is _your_ dog, I want a pet too. I love him, he’s great and stuff, but he’s not my ideal pet,” Andy tries.

He feels like a child; arguing over pets like a five year old and their parent. Joe’s pretty stubborn about this anyway.

Joe just shrugs, “Whatever, we have a pet. We don’t need a rabbit, okay?”

“No, Joe, it’s not okay! I’ve already sorted a room out and everything, and –” Andy explains, and Joe’s eyes bulge out of his head.

“You what? You made a room for the rabbit that we don’t already have?!” He’s standing up, and Andy feels smaller than he already is. It’s a silly argument.

He nods timidly, “They need space, and Louis could hurt it, so I thought…” He trails off as Joe groans frustratedly.

“Andy, he’s a dog, they hunt animals, that’s what they do; it’s nature!”

“I know, and that’s why I made a room, so the rabbit is safe!” Andy’s voice raises a pitch.

Joe sighs, “We’re not getting a rabbit, so take the room apart, okay?”

Andy shakes his head stubbornly, “This is my house too! I want a rabbit, you have a pet! They’re not my type, I love Louis, I do, but I want one that suits who I am too!”

Joe grunts, “We’re not arguing about it, okay? But my decision is final.”

He’s stalking off, Louis hot on his heels. The vegan sulks on the sofa for a minute, before standing up and heading in the direction of the fridge. When he’s found the chocolate Alpro, he seats himself back on the sofa in front of the TV for the rest of the afternoon.

He tries really, really hard not to think about how much he’d love a rabbit, and how much that argument sucked, but he’s failing miserably.

It’s not until two hours later that Joe finally reappears. He’s shuffling, the way he does when he’s guilty and ashamed. Head hung low, eyes fixed on the floor and shoulders hunched in, and Andy knows he’s going to sit right next to him and hug him so that Andy forgives him quicker.

He’s determined that it won’t work this time. However, when Joe’s sat down, slender fingers creeping up his back and over his shoulders and face pressing into the back of his neck, it’s a different story.

Andy sighs; Joe’s nuzzling the fluff of hair at the back of his head with his nose, and squeezing his shoulders, before sliding his hands down his arms. They’re moving slowly, as Joe inhales the earthy smell of his boyfriend, and they play with his hands for a while. He’s not holding them really; he’s squeezing them between his own before letting go and tracing circles on the back of his hands.

Then, he’s pressing himself flat against Andy’s back. His sweater tickles Andy’s skin as he moves his arms again, wrapping them round his waist in a warm, close hug, but the vegan says nothing.

He’s trying not to crack, because Joe is really cute when he does this, but he’s not quite ready to forgive him about the rabbit.

Joe’s chest is warm against him, heat radiating through layers of clothes. He’s still breathing in Andy’s scent, and pressing his forehead against the bare skin as he simply sits and holds him, arms firm and hands flat against Andy’s stomach. Then, he’s lifting his head slightly, pressing wet, open kisses to Andy’s neck, and the drummer knows it’s not long before he gives in.

He starts off innocent and gentle, slowly mapping out Andy’s flesh with his mouth, then sucking lightly on his shoulder, pushing his clothes aside with his nose. It’s sensitive, and Andy stifles a moan. It’s all fine until Joe moves higher, trailing sloppy kisses across his skin, nipping and biting softly, up to Andy’s jaw. At this point, he’s pulling Andy onto his lap, manoeuvring him so he’s angled perfectly for Joe to access his cheeks.

The guitarist is reaching up with one hand, the other still secure around Andy’s waist. It gently brushes Andy’s cheek, thumb rubbing in slow, sweet circles before cupping it firmly and leaning up to kiss at it repeatedly. They’re planted everywhere – on his nose, his chin, the underside of his jaw, his forehead, even his ears. Although, Joe ends up stopping there, choosing to suck at the top – one of Andy’s sensitive spots.

When Andy lets out an involuntary whimper, sensitive, Joe knows he’s won, and he stops. He’s leaning down to kiss his boyfriend properly, on the lips this time, and Andy doesn’t even hesitate to kiss back. He reaches up to grasp at Joe’s hair, cupping the back of his neck and pulling him closer with one hand, letting the other trail to hold his hip.

For a while, they sit and lazily make out, argument forgotten and just enjoying each other’s company. Andy’s letting his hands roam in a silent acceptance of Joe’s apology, squeezing and touching feather-light where he knows Joe will melt, and Joe just holds him tightly, like he’ll escape.

When they finally part, Andy turns himself to face Joe properly, resting their foreheads together. They’re panting, satisfied. But then Joe speaks up, and the silence is broken.

“It’s just… pets are a big commitment, okay? I know you really want one, but we’ve got to make sure we can give it a good home, and I don’t see why you want one…” Joe’s quietly trying to explain.

Andy giggles, “That argument is over for now, okay?” But he’s still going to bring it up again at a later date.

Joe nods, and buries his face in Andy’s shoulder. His arms tighten around the older man’s waist, and he’s falling asleep as Andy rubs circles into the skin on his hips. For now, the drummer just sighs, holding the taller man close.

He’s still not given up, though.

 

Andy is _determined_ to get Joe to give in.

He’ll literally do anything. He starts being more helpful – not that he didn’t help already – and Joe notices. Automatically, the guitarist knows something is up. Andy’s quieter than usual, and he usually talks to Joe and laughs a lot, and he’s being extra nice to Joe.

One afternoon, they’re sat on their bed, Andy shirtless and Joe naked from the waist down, and they’re just exploring each other. Lips are moving in sync, hands are mapping out each other’s bodies like they’ve never known each other before that moment. It escalates quickly; Andy’s shuffling down the bed before Joe can blink.

He’s got to admit, that’s the best blowjob he’s ever gotten – he’s getting hard thinking about it again, and Andy can see and _feel_ it. Teenage Joe’s probably cheering when Andy spits on his hand after, reaching down and mixing his spit with Joe’s come. Oversensitive and overstimulated, Joe’s putty underneath Andy’s touch, and in the next hour, he’s came twice more.

After orgasming for the third time that afternoon, including the amazing head, Andy pulls his fingers out of Joe and looks at his boyfriend properly. He’s satisfied and sleepy, hair a wild halo around his head. His shirt is sticking to his skin due to the thin layer of sweat on his skin, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded. Joe reaches for his electronic cigarette as Andy stands to find a cloth to clean Joe’s mess.

When he’s found it, he’s assaulted with a cloud of orange-scented vapour. If he wasn’t being so nice, he would have complained a little; about the unknown dangers of the devices, but tonight he just pulls a face as he wipes Joe down. The younger sighs at the cool touch, head tipped back into the pillow, and he takes a long drag from the replacement cigarette.

After discarding the now-dirty cloth into the washing basket, Andy’s climbing up onto the bed, rolling Joe so he’s on his front. The guitarist loses his grip on the device as Andy’s talented hands press deep into his muscles, circling the skin to work out any tension, and Joe lets out a string of curses and babbles as Andy massages him.

It takes ten minutes for Joe to fall asleep, mouth open and breathing heavily. Andy finds the electronic cigarette, putting it on Joe’s bedside table, before wandering downstairs to feed Louis. Joe wakes up alone, but feels extremely lucky when he realises that his boyfriend has done all the housework and then fallen asleep on the sofa.

 

Joe figures it out quickly but doesn’t say anything for a while. After all, if he’s getting blowjobs _that good_ , who would?

Andy knows he’s figured it out, though, so Joe does bring it up while Andy’s drying dishes. The younger is sat at the table behind him, in just a pair of Andy’s shorts. He has a great view of his backside, though, he’s not complaining.

“So, the sex,” Joe awkwardly starts. He can see Andy pulling a weird face as he turns to look back at him, confused.

“Is it not good enough…?” Andy timidly asks, and Joe’s eyes widen in disbelief.

“Dude, that’s the best treatment I’ve ever had!” He protests.

“So, why are you bringing it up?” Andy’s facing him properly now, and Joe looks up at the ceiling for a minute.

After pausing for a while, he comes out with, “What are you trying to get from me?”

Andy’s not a liar, so he automatically responds. It’s quiet and shy, “A rabbit, please.”

It’s cute, because Andy was so polite and sounded so small. He knows Joe’s going to say no though, it’s evident in his face.

“Andy…” He says, and it’s not with a harsh tone. Andy knows he’s trying to let him down nicely; he puts the plate on the side and clasps his hands together, not looking up.

“I’m sorry, I just really like rabbits…”

Joe feels a bit guilty, because Andy doesn’t really have anything to apologise for, “No, no, Andy, no,” He stands up and embraces him, nose nuzzling his short hair, “I know you do.”

“Please, Joe,” He sounds and looks like a child; timid and polite, and sweet. He’s got his face buried in Joe’s bare chest, and there’s an immense amount of heat radiating from his cheeks.

Joe knows Andy barely asks for _anything_ , but he doesn’t really see the point in getting a rabbit, or understand Andy’s want for one, “Andy, we have a dog, we don’t need a rabbit.”

“But I want one,” Andy protests, mumbling against Joe’s bare skin.

“Andy, come on, it’s just a rabbit. They don’t do a lot, and they require cleaning up after. They can be expensive.”

“So can Louis when he’s sick,” Andy counters, and Joe can see that that’s a fair argument.

“Andy, please,” And they’re both silent, Andy silently sulking against Joe, shoulders still slumped and hands still tangled together nervously.

 

Andy keeps looking at the rabbits in the pet shop.

He drags Joe in every time they walk past, and Joe’s patient – He won’t allow him to have one of his own, and maybe looking at the ones in the shop will mean he’ll calm down about the whole thing.

Right now, the guitarist is watching him with love-filled blue eyes. The short haired man is gazing at a tiny, black and white baby Netherland Dwarf, who keeps standing on its back legs and practically _begging_ Andy to pick him up. Andy is cooing, leaning up on his tiptoes and reaching a hand over into the pen to stroke its head fondly. The drummer marvels at how soft and fluffy it is, and the rabbit doesn’t move, just letting Andy fuss it patiently.

Joe takes some pictures when Andy isn’t looking. There’s another one, a grey one the same breed, and it’s nudging Andy’s free hand, looking for attention. Joe’s heart skips a beat when Andy _squeals_ , petting the other’s back while still rubbing the back of his fingers between the first bunny’s ears.

But, Joe said _“No,”_ , and he knows that. He smiles sadly as he walks away, the rabbits still standing up and brushing their paws against the glass, asking and pleading silently to be adopted. Joe’s aware that Andy loves animals; so much so that he doesn’t even eat animal products, but didn’t actually realise how much he’d had his heart set on buying a baby rabbit.

He’s still got a sad look on his face when they get back into the car, and Joe feels a little guilty, so he leans over to kiss Andy’s cheek.

“I love you,” He says simply, looking into his wise, grey eyes.

Andy smiles a little, “I love you too.”

 

The next day, Joe’s still feeling guilty.

Louis is sat with his head between Joe’s legs, again, but Joe is starting to warm up to the idea of having another furry friend around the house.

He’s certain he can afford it now, and he’d get to see his boyfriend _so happy_ , and he thinks it’s maybe only fair that he can have a rabbit seeing as Joe has Louis.

Louis grunts and darts a pink tongue out to lick his lips. Joe frowns. Andy’s still left the room in the same state it was in since the argument, all litter trays and toys in the same place. The run is still sat in the back garden, and Andy looks longingly at it every time he goes out into the back with Louis.

The dog just sniffs it and walks away, not really fazed by it. He’s back at Joe’s heel in seconds – there’s no time in his life for worrying about costs of other pets and Andy’s sadness.

Joe bites his bottom lip and his eyebrows crease; he’s going to buy Andy a rabbit.

He drives to the pet store while Andy’s out, shutting the door on a whining, clingy Louis, and decides to look around a little more first. There’s hamsters, which are cute, but don’t seem to do much, and some rats. Joe knows Andy’s not a fan of rats, so he quickly moves on, and spies some pretty cute looking guinea pigs.

Maybe he could get Andy a guinea pig, instead. However, he reads the sign on the pen saying _‘guinea pigs are better in pairs’_ and decides against it. He’s also aware that getting Andy a different animal won’t make him as happy as a rabbit would – he’d appreciate it, care for it and love it, but it wouldn’t be what he really wanted.

Sighing, he turns to the rabbits. His heart drops when he sees the black and white one is gone, but the grey one is still there, waiting to be chosen. Big, black eyes are looking up at him and pleading, but Joe already knew which one he wanted anyway. He goes to find a store assistant.

The staff member he finds is quite short, with brown hair pulled into a ponytail and glasses. She’s eager to help, looking up patiently.

“I, uh, I wanna buy my boyfriend a rabbit? But I don’t really know how to take care of rabbits,” He explains awkwardly. She just nods her head understandingly.

“No problem, have you chosen the one you want?” Joe nods, “Alright then! Let me find you a cardboard box.”

Joe waits patiently, and then the assistant comes back with a cardboard box, with air holes poked through – probably with pencils or something similar. She looks up to ask Joe which one, but when she sees that Joe’s eyes are focused on the small grey one, pawing at the glass impatiently, she just ‘chuckles and picks it up.

“The rabbits in this pen are girls, is that okay with you?”

“That’s perfect. He was in here yesterday; he liked this one and the black and white one,” Joe scratches his head as he talks but she just nods as she settles the rabbit into its box.

“A lovely young man brought her this morning! I think he wanted two. Female rabbits do get on better than males together, but he only brought the one in the end,” She chatters as she closes the box, “Do you have all the essentials?”

“We have a hutch, and we have like, sawdust and hay and stuff, so I think so,” He follows her to the checkout.

“Perfect! She’s all yours,” The assistant presses a few buttons on the till, and Joe hands her the correct change. Before he leaves, he’s handed a leaflet, which is full of useful information on grooming and feeding, and ideal space. He accepts it gratefully, before carrying Andy’s new pet back to the car and settling her into the space behind the passenger seat.

The ride back isn’t too long, really, and the front door is unlocked, meaning Andy’s home. Joe’s excited; he can imagine the expression on his face when his boyfriend sees his surprise, and how happy he’ll be with Joe, and maybe he’ll get some pretty awesome sex as a reward, and –

Something comes crashing into him at lightning speed, almost knocking him over and the box nearly goes flying.

“What’s in the box? Why is there holes in it? Is there an animal in there? Did you get a new puppy or something…?” Andy’s full of questions, and Joe’s stuttering and pulling faces, trying to form a reply. Instead, he laughs and shakes his head fondly, motioning for the older to follow him.

They end up in the rabbit room, and Andy sits patiently cross-legged on the floor. He seems hesitant at first – Joe assumes he’s just nervous or excited – but his eyes perk up when Joe carefully places the box on the floor. When he opens it, and two fluffy grey ears and a set of beady eyes make an appearance, Andy almost cries.

“Joe! You got me a rabbit, oh my God, you really did; I’m so happy, thank you so much –!” He’s a bit teary eyed, reaching for the rabbit. She settles into his arms almost instantly, finding comfort in the strong muscles he’s wrapping her up in, and Joe just grins like an idiot because he knows he’s done the right thing.

Andy’s cooing and nuzzling the top of the rabbit’s head with his nose, and it’s really, _really_ cute. The rabbit is just letting him handle her and cuddle her, and just brushes her nose against her new owner’s cheek. Then, Joe spots a blur out of the corner of his eyes, and sees something very familiar.

Poking its head out of the homemade shelter, the black and white rabbit from the shop looks directly at the guitarist, before hopping out to investigate the fuss. When Joe looks at Andy for an explanation, the vegan lowers his head guiltily, looking like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. He’s cradling the grey rabbit protectively as the white and black one sniffs Joe’s knees, opting to jump up into his lap and make herself comfortable. Joe just sighs.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were going to get me one, and I just fell in love with her…” Andy stutters guiltily.

“I don’t really want two, to be honest,” Joe starts, and Andy looks _destroyed_. It’s breaking Joe’s heart, seeing the big, warm grey eyes full of upset and hurt.

“But, I love you, and they’re making you happy, and I heard that they’re good in pairs, so I suppose you can keep them both.”

Very carefully, Andy moves the rabbits, and then launches himself at Joe, knocking the taller man backwards. Caught off guard, the guitarist’s back hits the floor as Andy nestles his face into the crook of his neck, grinning from ear to ear, and then kissing him all over in a quiet but meaningful _‘thank you’_.

Joe wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist as he continues his very physical assault, and then laughs as both rabbits get curious and attempt to climb up onto their new owners. Andy’s still smiling, and it’s so cute and practically melting the younger’s heart, and they both sit up to pet them as he calms down.

“So, what will you call them, Andy?” Joe speaks softly into his ear.

Andy hums, “The grey one is Bella, and the white and black one is Lola,” He decides almost instantly.

Joe chuckles, “If they’re both opposite genders after all, I’m selling the babies and we’re never having pets again.”

He’s sort-of joking; Andy looks up and gasps, “No! You’d have to keep the babies, I’d feel so guilty giving them away…”

“Babe, the phrase is _‘breeding like rabbits’_ for a reason,” Joe laughs into his ear.

Andy squirms and smiles at the pet name, “But rabbits get lonely on their own,” His tone changes; softer, “They need a friend.”

Joe kisses his ear and then his neck. He can’t figure out what to say, so he just rubs his thumb up and down Andy’s side soothingly while Andy watches the rabbits explore. They sit for a good ten minutes while Bella and Lola play, discovering balls and hidey-holes, and chasing each other around the room.

“Do I get sex for this?” Joe whispers lowly, and Andy laughs.

“I don’t see why not.”


End file.
